Excerpts From a Book I'll Never Write

 By Ryan Camesa
   ​I love how my heart swells like a blown up when I think about you. I love how your cheeks blush during the cold winter days. I love how your eyelashes fan the upper part of your cheekbones when you bat them. I love that fond look in your eyes when you look at something you love. I love how passionate you are about the things you believe in.
I love our countless inside jokes, and that we're the only ones that understand them; I love how they're synonymous and correlate to the term "secret". I love how weightless I feel when I am around you, because it feels like butterflies are swirling around my stomach. I hate how my heart aches to be with you, but I love how it flutters when we talk. I love how warm and inviting your hugs are. I love you more than you will ever know. I love how we seamlessly revolve around our love like it's the Earth- you being the sun, and I the moon; I shine when you shine, and I dim when you do. I love the way my name rolls off of your tongue like a melody you've practiced a million billion times. I love you more than you will ever know. I completely, utterly, and wholeheartedly love you and every fibre of your existence.

    You deserve someone who looks at you and thinks, "Yeah, you're the one". You deserve someone who would willingly tell you daily that they appreciate you. You deserve someone who puts their 100% in their relationship with you; whether it be friendship or romance. You deserve someone who would willingly be ready to talk to you whenever you needed it. You deserve somebody who would give you their everything- someone who misses you at two in the afternoon and not just at two in the morning. Most importantly, you deserve to feel deserving of love from anyone, especially yourself.

  Hey. I know that it's been a while, but I was in anatomy today, and we're learning about the different muscles in the human body. For some reason, my subconscious thoughts always came back to you. We learned about these muscles- the inner intercostal and external. They're the muscles that surround your ribs and help you breathe. I really miss you. Whenever you were in my presence, that was the only time I ever felt like I was truly breathing; the only time I felt alive. It's strange- you're like my own personal, personified set of intercostals. You help me breathe. You are my oxygen. I really miss you.

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