Starting Over

By Bridget Fitzpatrick

   Heartbreak. Losing someone you loved. Being lied to by someone you trusted. This all hurts, and can tear you apart. One minute, you can be deeply in love with someone, and the next that same person can be pulling you apart in every way, shape, and form. Loss, breakups, bad days, these all hurt the heart.
There are days you want to cry and days you want to throw things. Everyone experiences this; It's natural.

    In December of 2012, my world turned upside down forever. An internet friend had become a boy I had fallen in love with. It was okay to have internet friends, I had a few already. I was 13, and this boy was older than me. He was never able to call me, FaceTime or anything. I was young and na├»ve, like any young girl. I had the lowest self-esteem, and this boy told me he loved me. However, he also taught me how to hate myself. We were supposed to meet that summer, and we were in some sort of messed up relationship. A random night in December, he had "killed himself.” I was devastated. I cried and cut and tore myself apart. That night was the worst night of my life. It wouldn't be until months later that I'd find out this person was lying to me. It was a girl, the same age as me. I couldn't believe it. I hated myself. I wanted to die more than ever. But, in time, I got over it.

   Starting over and getting over things. That "boy" who taught me to hate myself fueled me to love myself. I learned how beautiful I was on my own and how special I am. I learned that people aren't what they seem. I learned what it meant to be happy. This was my new beginning, my fresh start. I'm now sixteen years old. I love myself, and my self-esteem is through the roof. I almost lost myself because of some random kid. I then started my new beginning.


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