Things I Want to Be Better At

Patience has been a large problem for me in the past, thus; even waiting for little things or in lines has been difficult. If I get impatient, I tend to quit what I am doing and never finish the project or task.

I really wish I could change my past patience level, because I believe I would have enjoyed loads more about life if I had been. Actually doing my school work has always been a challenge for me. A lot of the time, I would quit half way through an turn in whatever work I had done for partial credit. I’ve been working at finishing even the most difficult work. I’m hoping that if I put in enough effort that by the end of next school year, I will have learned to finish what I need to.

I have always been horrible at planning ahead. This is a huge problem, because I'm going to be a junior and the year after that I am going to have to start planning for my future and I will have to apply for colleges. My dream is to be a professional artist/film maker. All of my life I have been insecure about my art and my skills as an artist. For that reason, I have been creating and experimenting with different art forms. I am currently working on a film about teen artists and their insecurities an why art is worthwhile despite the challenges artists face while discovering their styles.

I have always struggled with loving people no matter what is different about them. I want to learn to accept and forgive everyone who has hurt me or who will hurt me. Life is tough alone, and though I am strong, I need love in my life. I have limited myself to a certain activity or certain people, some of which I knew were bad for me but continued to participate. I had stopped evolving at the age of 13 because I thought there was nothing better for me out there. I know better now.

It is so difficult for me to find joy in most things. I find joy in the little things such as a sunset or a blooming flower. I am working on trying to find joy in bigger events. I can rarely find joy in myself, and that is an issue that I am attempting to fix. I am teaching myself to love every part of me and to find joy in my eyes and lips and legs and mind. I am learning to understand that there are better things out there than any bad situation I am in. There are so many possibilities for someone like me who is as creative and welcoming as I am. There is a great big world out there and I can accomplish so much. The universe is full of opportunities. I just need to learn to take them.

I am insistent on letting myself not only grow, but
blossom. I will be the best me that I can ever be. I will
embrace all of the strange and marvelous qualities
about me. I will love myself for who I am and whoever I will become. I will not limit myself to any one group or any one activity. I will do everything in my power to
flourish and thrive in a world that may not be ready for
my determination. I will grow.


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