Angels


angels won't take care of what's rooted inside me
deep
but not deep enough to shatter my spine when uprooted;
it more reopens scars than anything
and those who glance my way suspect
it's my teenage angst
or maybe i'm just sad today
or maybe i'm just sad
every other day
or
maybe i'm
just
sad.

angels sometimes grab my hands.
some days i'm hanging by my fingertips.
some days they're dragging me up by my arms.
but one day they opened my palms
and held them.
i don't think i'm standing up straight;
balance, they sing
and i attempt
to oblige.
i attempt
to compromise.
i am handing them my life
and they return it,
say, it's yours,
say, keep it.
they sing sweet hymns
and i
am taken.

you are endless,
they tell me.
an affinity
between me
and them
seems like an impossibility
but they've let me look their way.
why my eyes
haven't burnt out of my skull
is unanswerable.
instead my eyes are glowing.
instead i'm freely falling,
floating against the winds they've given me.

i've deserved the most precious gift
buried within the clouds they sleep on:
hope.

and it's installed into me like a battery.
i feel my back open, exposed
i feel hollow even,
until somebody reminds me that i am still whole.
the unfamiliar, cool and easy feeling
slips into me like smoke.
there is a click and a brush of
what i believe
is a feather's touch.

i think i can defy gravity now;
a new effervescence for simply existing
shoots through my veins like a drug.
i think i can defy gravity now,
i say
and that triggers a jerk in my wings
(the ones i didn't know i had).
they roll themselves in hope; they
kill all the demons; they
undertake for the sake of me
to stay.


Text by Gwen Peralta and Visuals by Natalie Ondrik



3 comments

  1. "why my eyes
    haven't burnt out of my skull
    is unanswerable."

    What a beautiful line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this so much. "angels sometimes grab my hands.
    some days i'm hanging by my fingertips.
    some days they're dragging me up by my arms", is my favorite line. So much talent, I am blessed to have read this.

    ReplyDelete