A Letter to My Past Lover

Dear you,
I would like to believe that all is well, not for you but for me. I’ve been a little light-headed lately and I’ve managed to listen to your favorite ballads this morning. Whether it be at night or when you’re holding someone new, do you think about me? Today I will admit that it’s hard. I’m unsafe inside my head and sooner than later, I will do things to stop thinking about the times I’ve counted your steps and held my breath for the sake of your comfort. You called me your messiah and found light in the way I danced as if I was creating portraits with the soles of my feet. Believe me when I say I can’t stop crying. Some days, I don’t know why and I’m typically too weak to question it but I'm only able to see your face and not speak. The nightmares haven’t stopped. To give you all of me in hopes that you’ll hold this body with what’s damaged inside is to set flames to a house of childhood memories. Have I told you I’m tired of feeling lost? While you’re finding someone new, I’m searching for love in any situation that will lock me in and hold me tight until I can no longer breathe, until I must go again. On the rooftop during the first time I let you inside my head, you called me a ticking time bomb without any explanations as to how long you were waiting for me to break. You don’t know how badly I wanted to open up to you, spitting out secret after secret after secret when your jaw was clenched holding in nothing but your goodbyes. Your lips were dry when you finally said the words,
Poision, you and I, but soft we stood side by side.

By Tyrique Tower

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