How To Care for Yourself While Grieving

Grief is everywhere. It’s in the inbox where your ex has last left you on read, in the office where you’ve submitted your resignation letter, and in a loved one’s old room. It’s in our daily lives, so it’s essential to our being to know how to take care of ourselves.
  1. Embrace your grieving self.

    Remind yourself that what you're feeling is a natural response to a change or loss. Allow yourself to quiver in pain, confusion, and anxiety. Sit with your emotions and don't run away from yourself. Own your current state. Cry if you need to. It's also okay if you don't. We all grieve differently—you shouldn't be ashamed if you don't respond similarly to others or follow the five stages of grief. Grieving has no timeline, and healing isn’t linear. You might feel acceptance today and feel denial again tomorrow. Don't hate yourself or be embarrassed for not getting over it in your expected deadline or other people's deadline. Face pain in all its glory. It's there to tell you something isn't right.

    2. Shower yourself with reminders, affection and attention.


    Check up on yourself. If your way of grieving leans more towards toxicity, you may want to practice healthy boundaries.

    Imagine yourself as a child. Try not to put yourself in situations your inner child doesn't deserve. Be gentle. Talk them out of unhealthy circumstances and understand why they put themself in such predicaments, even if their reasons seem irrational and incomprehensible. Be patient.

    Affection and attention:

    Drink lots of water but don't pressure yourself if you can't take 8 glasses per day. Warm water calms nerves. Bathe yourself in it. Write or make art about that rejection, breakup, or death, even if you think your grammar is incorrect or your painting isn’t polished. You will look back and know you made something real.

    3. Ask for a helping hand.

    When you're depressed, doing basic tasks becomes extremely challenging. Asking a family member or a friend for help when you're on the verge of giving up doesn't make you weak. Asking for help is another type of self-love. Sometimes, keeping everything to yourself blinds you; it lengthens your grief and makes it hard for you to recognize when you're being destructive.

    Call a friend when you're having a panic attack. Practice internal and verbal communication. Try to articulate these overwhelming feelings to someone (a counselor, therapist, or friend). True friends sneak up on you when you least expect it. 

4. Forgive yourself and other people.

Life isn’t black and white. Forgive yourself for your tendencies and the things you did and didn’t do. It’s as hard as grieving, so don’t rush yourself.

When confiding in your friends and family, some of them may not know how to comfort you. Understand that most of the times, their indifference and insensitivity aren’t about you. This doesn’t mean that you’re alone or a burden. You deserve love and tendernessmost importantly, from yourself. 

By Sam Fabian