From Blushing to Breath-Taken

Before we fell in love, we used to always find one another in a room. We would catch each other's glance and have a hard time pulling our eyes away. It felt electric; every room was suddenly a scavenger hunt for those familiar yet unknown emerald eyes. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks whenever she'd look at me. They'd blossom and bloom until I'm sure the whole room could tell I had fallen hard for the girl I barely knew.

I had never been the type to blushand no, this unfortunately is not a testament to my edginess. However, when I met her, it seemed to happen often. Eventually, we would both look up only to smile at one another, and my cheeks would warm and I'd have to scratch my neck and unwillingly glance away. She has the most breathtaking smile, and from a writer's perspective I'd say it reminds me of jazz music on Sunday mornings or the warm breeze on a summer day, but from her lover's perspective it typically leaves me speechless.

The first time she smiled at me, we were passing each other in the hallway. This is cheesy, but I swear time stopped. The butterflies swarmed my stomach and everything was honey-sweet. I went to AP US History and thought about her instead of the colonization of Jamestown, and my cheeks were still rosy red. 

That was all months ago.

Last night was Valentine's day, and it hit me how comfortable I am. Months have passed, and I don't blush anymore. I mean, I definitely do blush at her cute compliments and loving gestures, but as we laid and looked into each other's eyes, I had no need to pull away. We have had many moments in our time together when we have chosen to not look away, and I treasure all of those instances. 

I wish I could tell my past self that this girl—the one I barely knewwill soon know the most about him and that he will feel safe with her. I wish I could tell him that he can love so deeply, so surely. I wish I could tell him that she will be the most wonderful person he has ever met. I wish I could tell him to not wait so long, but to go for it because talking to her is the best decision he will have ever made. I wish I could tell him that they will spend Christmas together, and New Years and Valentine's Day. I wish I could tell him that yes, he will indeed stop blushing at every glance in a few months (his dignity will appreciate that one). That would be quite wonderful, I think.

Because back then, I just wanted to know her.

And now I'd like to think I know her best, and that is so special to me.

By Ryan Vortisch

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