Modern Medusa

From the start of this year, I was confident and excited to see what I could accomplish each month. The first three months of this year have been nothing but turmoil and self-hate. My self-esteem plummeted ,and it feels like I'm in middle school again. I avoid mirrors and selfies. If I accidentally catch my reflection, I can't stop looking at myself. My face starts to burn and tears form in my eyes. I can't stop staring at the stranger in the mirror.

I spend so many nights going from picture to picture, profile to profile, obsessively comparing everything about myself to others, from the number I see on the scale to how my teeth look. Every time I leave the house, the only thing on my mind is, “I hope no one sees how hideous I look today."

Whenever I'm at work I can only think about how gross I look to everyone. I cry myself to sleep because I cannot stand to live in this body I hate and the mind I ruined. I'm not good enough for myself.

I've changed for sure, but not for the better.

By Blair Moore

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