Divided II Disorder

Since being diagnosed with bipolar II disorder this October, I have felt like my missing puzzle pieces finally fit together. It explains why I sometimes felt like two completely different people, why my mood was so fluctuating and ever-changing. I felt like I finally found a solution to a lifelong problem.

Unfortunately, these past few months have been rough for me. I have begun again to feel like there are two distinct people roaring inside of me: Depressed Sonya, who is at the lowest of the low, who will never come up again, who is stuck, perpetually a failure, and Manic Sonya, the Sonya who's on top of the world, who can do anything she wants with zero consequences, who looks down on others because she's so high up above everyone else.

I am not a fan of self-portraits; I'm not a fan of being in front of the camera as opposed to behind it. But these needed to be done to help ground myself, to remind myself that although these mood swings happen, no matter how drastic, I am still just one person whose disorder does not define her.

By Sonya Alfano

No comments

Post a Comment