As the year ends, I find that I don’t experience déjà vu as often. I stop reliving the same five scenes every day, and I begin to feel more connected to time as it passes, but I still continue to reminisce. Spring is a time of rebirth and growth, but I still feel as if I carry things within me that must be buried—things such as fear, anger, and malice towards those who have wronged me.

you are nothing but a stain
scorched, dried, dripped, melted
onto the carpet
of the minds of those you touched

and god,
have i tried to scrub you out
but still you linger

Is anger towards someone for their past actions valid? Am I allowed to feel this way months or years in the future?

"i'm gonna crush you"
thank you for some warning

because being a good person
and loving you despite
your dramatic shifts
and your forgetfulness
and drying your tears
in your times of sorrow
nets me nothing but isolation

dear god
if you are just now
beginning to crush me
i am so afraid
for what i have already survived
has shattered my spine
and leveled my lungs

I know that I am technically “allowed” to do whatever I want, but I’m still unsure; is it acceptable to retreat into myself and vent in private whenever someone does something I dislike? Is it healthy to express myself without confrontation?

is the air i breathe
when you creep into my mind
after i've asked you to depart

is the bread you break
to nourish
our emaciated bond

Regardless of the answers, it’s too late to fix anything now. I should find out for future reference, though.

By Michael Jones

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